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Exploring The Illusion Of Heart Break

Updated: Apr 7, 2022

Hi Beautiful Hearts,

So after going through some pretty tragic romantic love stories of my own and going through painful heart ache, I have had plenty of time while living as single ,to look back and understand it from a different angle than I did while dealing with it at the time. I have had space to work through my pain and do the healing work on all levels of my life. I have had to reprogram myself and completely rewrite my take on love and what love means to me on a deep level.


Interestingly enough much of my old love poems held a very big clue as to where I was going wrong...hindsight is a wonderful thing! I was for so long subconsciously giving my power away to romantic connections, all relationships and others, in my life too! I was in this place of

thinking it was romantic to loose yourself for another, to give everything I had to another, that if it was too smooth and easy something wasn't right. When in actual fact this is so disempowering and not healthy at all. I also had family/ancestral patterns and programs that needed to be understood and broken free from too. I came to some realisations during that healing process and certain conclusions that seem so clear to me now.


I personally dont believe the heart actually goes through heart break, it doesn't break ...the heart is energetically very, very strong and very ,very powerful. I do however feel it does go through pain very deeply and is very sensitive on an emotional level. The thing is a lot of the pain associated with heart break is actually coming from the bruised or wounded ego and negative association from the minds point of view. It is the mind that cages the heart off for fear of pain ,the heart just wants to love and show and express love freely.


Many of us have at some point in life been programmed to believe that love

has to be a certain way when in actual fact it wasn't love you experienced at all, it was attachment to another being. The false love programming sends us on a journey to find someone to complete us or save us from ourselves and our inner turmoil. Or we will put ourselves in a saviour role and make it our mission to save the other person. Which often leads to us loosing our own way in the end and feeling empty and confused.


When another person does not meet expectations, when they stop playing out an allocated role we subconsciously assigned for them, we then will feel hurt or betrayed because of it. This is because of an ego minded view of the relationship, not because the other person has actually done anything wrong in this instance.


Often we will go off and seek outside validation and this is because we feel a lack of confidence in ourselves. We try to build ourselves up by the approval of others .When we do this and are then rejected it hits us very hard!


Relationships that for whatever reason end with pain lead us to feel lost, confused and of course hurt. This is because of a learning through pain pattern we as humans were conditioned to and also we stepped into a situation that was not our truth. You see the heart only knows love and love never dies nor breaks. How we give and show love changes from person to person and in relation to each relationship but it is always there. Real pure love is free and light.


The mind or ego will tell us and have us believe the story that love hurts and it breaks us but that is not true. Love heals us. If we can learn to stay strong in our own power. If we can believe in ourselves. If we can unconditionally love ourselves and really fully love and give ourselves love 100%, no matter what. If we can do that and love ourselves freely then we open a beautiful space to not only have a deeper healthier relationship with ourselves but with others too.


Every single relationship we have comes with lessons and all will teach us something about ourselves or that type of relationship dynamic. And if we are open to see it always this way then it all becomes less personal, less like rejection, less like a personal blow or attack . It will become more about in regards to romantic relationships anyway, graduation, in a sense end of lesson and time for our next class and a step up, when/if that relationship comes to its natural end.


Our Higher self has an inner guidance system in place and if we go off course in anyway just like an electric buzzer circuit game it goes off. We will feel when its not right for us, when the relationship is not right or has reached its end, but we seem to block or override that feeling and go into painful situations anyway. This is because pain has become a normal part of the human story it feels normal to us especially if we have a false love program or old story playing out ,many of us have actually got to a place where we are more fearful of being free of pain than being in pain. Likewise if it is right for us we also will feel it and may self-sabotage it because it feels so good the mind may go into fear about it! Love doesn't hurt and love and life dont need to be difficult, the higher self is trying to make us aware of this. If the relationship causes us pain we are not living in our truth, if we are in fear or hurting we have gone off course and need to adjust accordingly either in mind/our thinking or physically.


When two peoples energies come together and really connect on all levels and feel in a vibrational alignment, they tend to freely and naturally energetically dance together. They will walk side by side together yet with an understanding they are free to leave each others side whenever they choose. The pure love and vibrational alignment keeps them together as they intrigue one another. They learn and grow from and through each other and through the shared love for the relationship as well as for themselves individually. As they are in a free flowing love relationship they may not always go in the same direction and may almost drift apart while still in the relationship but will always naturally find one another again. Often this is when one or both parties go into fear if not fully conscious and why many relationships fall apart and end on bad terms. If conscious and aware they are drifting too far apart and going in very different directions then they can come to an understanding to separate and although the relationship has ended the love remains and only shifts into a different expression of love.


This is why true love in the sense of a Divine union between two souls is so precious and special, it is so delicate yet at the same time so strong. Two souls both aware of a need for complete balance ,trust, understanding and freedom within love. We must learn not to cling to another's love but to understand and learn we generate our own supply of love. To stand strong in our own love and power, to give our love freely in our own unique way and trust we will receive back what is meant to be without the need to force or rush the process.


It is the getting attached and the expectations that cause the pain and suffering not the love itself, we must not fear love or tell ourselves stories that love hurts. It is the clinging to something that no longer brings us joy that hurts us. The fear of being alone that drives us to stay too long in situations that are not right for us anymore. Forgetting our true selves and forgetting ourselves as whole and complete leads to unconscious actions and bad choices in regard to love and relationships. Seeing through the ego that the end of a relationship is a failure or seeing ourselves as a failure if it ends causes us pain and hurt not the love.


It is the relationship built on such shaky foundations and for all the wrong reasons that cause us to feel hurt ,again not love and not heart break ,just tough and difficult to look at sometimes real life lessons.


A healthy relationship enjoyed for what it is, appreciated, and nurtured daily will thrive because of the strong shared love. A relationship where each person can be their own person and have their own space without fear of placed conditions or backlash will thrive because of trust, freedom and unconditional love. A relationship authentic and true to those in it that is worked on daily will thrive. Two people who can celebrate their individual love and communicate well and honestly and come together and celebrate their shared love will only ever grow stronger and stronger.


Clean breaks are healthy at times especially if that relationship has gone toxic or abusive and sometimes needed for our own personal growth. We might find ourselves giving all our love to a person who doesn't seem to appreciate us. This happens when we haven't fully realised our own true worth. We are worthy of the same love back that we give out. Give yourself that love and watch how you blossom and grow with confidence. You deserve to experience your own love firstly and most importantly as you cultivate that life force energy for you to thrive. Love you and develop a strong relationship with you and it will help you to form strong relationships with others too. Once we learn how to love ourselves properly we can then more easily form a strong relationship with another without the attachment to that person and without the need to put certain expectations on the relationship. It is then a free and healthy love between them to be celebrated and enjoyed for what it is for as long as it lasts.


Having the confidence to let something go and have faith if it is meant to be it will find its way back is so powerful within its self. Fear has lead to us as humans holding on to things so tight scared to let go in case we lose it. Yet this is what leads us to lose the very thing we fear losing. We have to loosen the grip and be more confident in ourselves and love. We can and are free to let a person know how we feel but we have no control of their actions or choices. We have to trust if they are not meant to be with us anymore or at all it is because someone more aligned to us is being sent our way. A true vibrational match that will give us what we need on a higher self level ,or that person may just need time alone to get to that level or vice versa. Ideally we want to be forming a relationship with someone who shares are same values and has the same out look on life as us ,someone who is ready to grow through love with us rather than someone who needs our healing or feels we need to be saved by them or otherwise.


If we do want a shared clean energy and a healthy pure love relationship we have to make sure we have a clean energy and a strong healthy frequency of the purest love first!


The mind makes it complicated when it brings forward fears and projects certain outcomes in regard to romantic relationships. We may feel cheated out of something if it doesn't end up the way the mind scripted it. The soul and the heart both fully appreciate the relationship for the experience and the growth. The heart loves to love and wishes to play and have fun, its the ego mind that makes love seem stuffy and constricted.


Learn to love yourself more and have confidence in who you are. Dont allow the mind to feed you lies about love and relax be open to grow through love. Your heart is strong it wont break. Yes some romantic relationships may be tough going and bring forward difficulties at times but thats when we learn and grow and become a better version of ourselves. Learn to relax in love and you will be rewarded by forming beautiful fulfilling relationships...there is no need to rush into anything! Take your time and dont settle for anything but the best for you because you deserve the best always.


Be like an investigator and look for patterns in your past relationships and family relationships, break out of those patterns then change the love story you currently have and how you view yourself. Dont get into a relationship because you are feeling lonely, work on feeling lonely ,iron out anything blocking you having a good relationship and remember not all will last forever so get the most out of the experience while you have it! Dont pin your happiness on being in a relationship be happy and comfortable with you and love will find you as happiness is very attractive and partners well with love. So I hope this has helped you in some way to perhaps be more open to seeing the end of a romantic relationship in a different way and hopefully will ease any pain you may be having right now or answer questions you may have had from previous romantic relationship hurts.


If you wish for more assistance with this or have any questions then please reach out to me.

For Spiritual guidance, Coaching, An Intuitive reading or some energy healing work if you feel called to work with me on this or anything else you are dealing with right now please email me for more details.


I wish you all the very best in love and life

Nayalla xxx









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